Thursday Thoughts with Theresa: The One Thing We Need in the Face of Defeat

Let us not become weary in doing good,

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest

if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9

We’re reading around the breakfast table when defeat shows its face, before we even start our day. The youngest two can’t sit still, so I let them run off and play. They run circles, screaming past us and I can’t hear my own voice. I ask them to keep the volume down or play downstairs, as I finish our short devotion with the older two.

I ask a follow­up question to our reading and I hear grunts and whines and the older two are just as uninterested, so I just shut the book and send them downstairs to get dressed.

And I feel defeat wash over me at the start of our day of the new week.

I look around me and notice that we didn’t even clear our dishes or clean the kitchen before dispersing. We need to pull the house together before we start school–after a fun, long Easter weekend and house guests. And it’s always then–when there is just one more thing on our plate– that I'm faced with defeat that feels like despair, like we’re getting nowhere and like we’ll never get it right.

But that’s a lie. Because more good has come from redemptive moments than I can count. Even when all I can see is momentary defeat. And since giving up is not an option, I offer it back to the One who promises success when I commit these plans to Him.

Each moment is opportunity for a fresh start when we'll accept our own limitations and submit control to Christ.

So I breathe deep and head downstairs to see how they’re doing with getting dressed and ready for the day.

I have a talk with individual children and direct each one, keeping us on track. There’s more grumbling and whining over a certain morning chore and I want to throw a fit myself.

I feel how exhausting and unglamorous parenting really is.

Yet I choose not to take back the control I just offered up, nor grow weary in doing good. “I always have to fold laundry. I’m not folding laundry!” the oldest one demands.

I feel more defeat over his reluctance, but he has a choice and so I ask him to start with the chore he is willing to do.

He’s folding blankets and throwing them over the couch and chair and I’m pitching in, picking up random toys off the floor.

“I’d mop the floor, mom,” the reluctant one says.

“Okay, you can mop instead of folding clothes and it needs to be swept first. The stairs could be vacuumed, too.” I concede.

“Okay,” he says.

Soon the children are all working like a well­oiled machine. The house is coming together and I’m realizing, once again, that hope is not lost.

The day plays out peacefully, as the children play together, building a house, a trench and a dam on the dirt hill behind our house, after cleaning. They then come in for lunch, imaginations still active. One writes out the menu, takes orders, and delivers the food that I prepare. School work is accomplished in the afternoon this day and I can’t think of a better day we’ve had, even with our rough start.

And I realize that more rewarding than children cooperating all of the time, as I expect–like little robots–more beautiful than first­time obedience and perfect little children, is redemption in the lives of my children.

To watch reluctant hearts change. To watch them internally choose to do right. To witness what only Jesus can do in them that I cannot.

It’s the realization of who we are without Christ and who we become with him.

And when I see this happen in each of my children, as I have more over this past year, I recognize the blessing in the difficult moments.

I realize that they help us to see our limitations and that we really do need Jesus to succeed and live joyfully. They see it, too.

And what I need more than anything in the face of defeat is the faith to simply trust God with this exhausting and unglamorous work.

Because, although the work of parenting is less than glamorous, the redemptive work is stunningly beautiful. 

- Theresa Miller, MOPS Mom

Theresa is a wife and mother of four children (3, 5, 7, and 9), who are embarking on their first year of homeschooling. Theresa has been involved in Sheridan MOPS for the last 9 ½ years, serving in multiple leadership positions, including Day MOPS Coordinator in 2007-2008. She took one year off, then started the Sheridan Evening MOPS group in September 2009. Theresa has published an article with MOPS International MOMSnext Ezine, in addition to other on-line publications. You can find Theresa encouraging mothers on her blog, Heavenly Glimpses.

Thursday Thoughts with Theresa: "When We Step Out of the Box with God"

I laid there with my face squished into my pillow sobbing that one turbulent day, three weeks into our homeschool journey, "Why, God? If this was your idea for us, then why are you letting this happen? Why is today so hard?" I knew without a doubt that this was what we were supposed to be doing. Although we enjoyed our children's previous school and teachers, the vision for homeschool was greater. So all I could do was wrestle with God over it. Then go back to my four children only to return and wrestle some more.

I was like a Jacob, who needed to be broken before I could be sent forth with a blessing and a new name.

There have been messy days in my life as a mother, but that day was the epitome of messy, wrapped and sealed by guilt. I had been brought to an all-time low and I just couldn't understand why God was allowing that.

And then, shortly after, I stumbled upon this passage on a friend’s blog:

"When we let God out of the box, he doesn't step out with a harness on and offer us the reigns. He bursts out like a lion and dares us to grab a hold of his mane and ride."

That was the answer to my, "Why, God?"

Because I realized that I had been searching for the reigns that day. I wanted a better handle on the direction and predictability of our homeschool.

Here we had stepped out of the box in faith, yet still I wanted everything to look tidy and clean in the process and he was letting me know clearly that there was no tidy little corner reserved for my control.

When we step out of the box with God we step out in pure faith, pure trust.

And it gets messy. And it's hard. But it's supposed to be that way because sometimes he has to break us in order for us to ride that wild lion on, what could be, the greatest adventure of our lives.

The very next day, I woke up to the "Hallelujah" chorus, I am sure. Because it was a new day and it was glorious, refreshing and filled with joy. I ached still a little from the injury to my pride, but I knew this journey had taken a new turn. We'd have our ups. We'd have our downs. But we were all in for where God was taking us.

When we step out of the box and say, "Yes," to what God asks of us, it may get messy. But that does not always indicate that our choice was wrong. God works in and through the messes of our lives to mold us and bring us to the places he has prepared.

I am so glad he has dared me to grab on and trust him for this adventure.

In what areas is he daring you to step out of the box and grab on?

-Theresa Miller, MOPS mom

Theresa is a wife and mother of four children (3, 5, 7, and 9), who are embarking on their first year of homeschooling. Theresa has been involved in Sheridan MOPS for the last 9 ½ years, serving in multiple leadership positions, including Day MOPS Coordinator in 2007-2008. She took one year off, then started the Sheridan Evening MOPS group in September 2009. Theresa has published an article with MOPS International MOMSnext Ezine, in addition to other on-line publications. You can find Theresa encouraging mothers on her blog, Heavenly Glimpses.