You, Mom, Are Free.

You, weary new mom, having just made it through another day with what seems like every last ounce of energy dissipating quickly into the evening sky, you are free.

You, burdened mom, living with the self impressed guilt of looking into the lives of grown children gone seemingly astray daring to wonder where you went wrong, you are free. 

You, working mom, balancing the full work load and making an impact at work all the while thinking about your babies and running through the list of all you'd like to accomplish in those few precious hours with them each night, you are free. 

You, full time mom, struggling to remember your last good adult conversation, fighting not to lose yourself in between the PB&J sandwiches, the soccer games, underneath the nursing cover, drowned out by 'mom watch this' and 'mommy can I?' You are free. 

You, hurt mom, weighed down by the comparison you put on yourself and the judgments others sprinkle over you, subtly questioning your ability to be a mom, or at least portraying the idea that they could do it better, you are free. 

You, doubting mom, wondering if you're doing any of this right. You are free. 

You, guilty mom, saddened by the number of times you lost it with your kids in the past month, week, day, hour, though you try so hard you can never seem to stop your tongue from burning, you are free. 

Rather than belt this truth over you, I want to cup your strong fragile hearts in my own shaky hands and whisper so softly yet so confidently, you dear one, are free. 

Whatever mom you feel you are or combination of moms or one not even listed, know today that you are free. And no matter how many times you mess up, how many times you forget promises or field trip notes, how many times you feel not good enough to hold the title mom, know that you beautiful girl, are free, you are loved, and you are not defined by anything other than what Christ proclaims over you - a child of God's, precious, known, loved, forgiven, redeemed, restored, 

FREE.

Live Each Moment By Faith

- Ashley Skillman, MOPS Mom

This article was originally published at www.ashleyskillman.blogspot.com. Check out the original here.

Ashley Skillman is one of our local MOPS moms. She is a happy wife and mother to one lovely 10-month-old. Ashley loves to write, has a passion for Women’s Ministries and loves God. She describes herself as, “the daughter of the King of this Universe, Cherished, Loved, and Pursued by Him as if I were His only desire.” We look forward to hearing more from her!

Thursday Thoughts with Theresa: A Time for Letting Go

In some ways, parenting can feel like learning to dance. It's learning to be in tune with an individual; in tune with time. It's pulling them in, letting them go, and pulling them back in again – relying on the Holy Spirit to allow us to Waltz rather than stumble as we lead them – until it’s no longer our dance to lead.

When it comes to parenting, there is science and there’s also art.

At my son’s bicycle launch, I held the back of his seat to keep him steady while he positioned both feet on the pedals and then launched. Once he took off, he soared. He loved it, until he got a little nervous and fell. I helped him back up, steadied his seat and watched him take off again.

Robby had just barely grown into his bicycle over the summer. Needless to say, he hadn’t yet mastered the skill of launching his bike on his own. So after steadying his bike a few more times for him, I determined I would teach him all that he needed to know to achieve this task.

"Just put one foot on the pedal and keep one on the ground ... no, no don't sit on the seat yet! OK ..." I said.

"STOP TEACHING ME, MOM AND JUST HELP ME GO!" he interrupted in frustration. 

I stood there a little stunned. Do I reprimand him or heed those desperate words?

In that instant, it hit me. Those words represented so much more than just the momentary launching of his bike. In a flash, they represented a young boy who was ready to go – to soar – and just needed a steady place to launch. I could hear him repeating those very words ten years from now. But for today, the teaching was over. My job was to just help him go.

So I steadied the seat and let him go.

There will be times when my children are just ready to go. They won't need a step­by­step tutorial when that time comes. Their home will hopefully be that steady place to launch. I'll watch them go. I'll watch them fall. I'll watch them get back up, come for help and go again. With age, maturity and experience, I'll watch them come home less and less for that steady place to launch. But, for certain, I’ll watch them soar.

There is a science to this vast responsibility of parenting, as in a step­by­step tutorial on how to ride a bike! As a mom I want to control the best outcome possible for my children. I test technical and systematic strategies until I find something that works. My job is far from over. To the contrary, the critical teaching is now! However, the art is in knowing when to let go.

- Theresa Miller, MOPS Mom

This article was originally printed in the March of 2011 MOMS next ezine. 

Theresa is a wife and mother of four children (3, 5, 7, and 9), who are embarking on their first year of homeschooling. Theresa has been involved in Sheridan MOPS for the last 9 ½ years, serving in multiple leadership positions, including Day MOPS Coordinator in 2007-2008. She took one year off, then started the Sheridan Evening MOPS group in September 2009. Theresa has published an article with MOPS International MOMSnext Ezine, in addition to other on-line publications. You can find Theresa encouraging mothers on her blog, Heavenly Glimpses.

by Christie Elkins

originally posted at Letters From The Nest on 1/28/14 reprinted with permission

when satan steals your motherhood.

  

It is there, and it creeps up like a silent killer. Maybe it is the wet underwear that you found floating in the hallway bathroom. Or the cat food that has been flung out on the floor like tiny marbles waiting to trip up a passerby. Or the loud thumping and yelling and tantruming as if we live in some sort of primal age where roaring and beating your chest were the only way to get other’s attention.

And all of that madness and anger? It wasn’t the kids. It was me.  The mother. The one who left a pair of Superman undies in a bathroom we rarely use for days, fed the cat without my glasses after someone else forgot, and the loud, obnoxious, downright scary human being I can be when I have just had more than I can handle.

That’s the kind of thing that happens when you allow satan to steal your motherhood.

No, it’s not the mistakes. It’s not the forgetfulness. It is what happens on the inside that no one else sees. And he knows just how to get to you.

He admires you, you know. But only when you yell at your kids, complain about tasks that need to be done regardless of how many people are in your home. He loves it when you wish you were the mom with the skinny jeans and tall boots and shiny hair with the perfectly groomed kids at the mall play area. You look at her and think you are sub-par. Satan loves that.

Satan also loves it when you get scared because someone posted a random video online of how their four year old can read, so you freak out that YOUR four year old is more interested in roaming outdoors and  playing with bobby pins and giving them names, so you panic because books are the last thing on her mind. Satan is clapping now.

Satan also adores you when you get on the phone and ignore your kids, when you hide your true feelings and dreams and frustrations with your husband with a weak “I’m fine”, and when you feel like this fun birthday party at the park for your children isn’t “the best” compared to someone else’s insanely expensive Pinterest celebration.

Satan wants you to fail. And to feel alone. And to feel inadequate to what Someone Else has CALLED you to do.

Because I might as well have left the front door unlocked and allowed a thief to come right in my home yesterday. I mean, why not? I let satan in. After all the fussing and nagging and utter bone tired exhaustion, I crawled into bed with my three year old for a moment. Just to apologize.

“I am so sorry today was so rough”

“I didn’t think it was rough. I thought it was fun!”

“Really? Which part was fun?”

“The part where we played on the couch like we were on a boat. Where we ‘fished’ with your belt as a fishing line, and used the couch pillows for life boats”.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks.

“Please pray for me. That I can be a better Mommy”.

“Oh, I did! Earlier today. When it was sunny. Right before we played the boat game”.

Today I’m locking the door tight to whatever evil enters my heart and home.

Today I am going to remember the One who GIVES LIFE and knows I am a mess and LOVES ME ANYWAY.

I washed the undies. The cat took care of the food. That four year old is now six and can read like a champ. But she still names random things. And it’s cool that my hair is “shiny” because it is unwashed and I can’t wear tall boots because they make me taller than the guy that loves me to the moon and back.

Roll those cars down a ramp, read one more princess story, forget how “busy” you think you are and what the world thinks you should accomplish in a 24 hour period and for heaven’s sake, LOG OFF OF PINTEREST.

Take your kids and an old, worn blanket, reheat that coffee and hold them tight and just rest at the feet of Jesus for a moment.

Today? It is going to be okay. Take back your motherhood. It is a gift. Listen to the life-giver, NOT the liar.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." {John 10:10}

Thursday Thoughts with Theresa: 25 Points I Took Away From the Mom Heart Conference

I just returned from the Mom Heart Conference 2014: Inspired! Reaching Beyond What Holds You Back, with Sally Clarkson. If you are not familiar with Sally Clarkson, then read on. Sally is a modern­day classic, encouraging moms, with her depth of wisdom, to live out the biblical model of parenting. She has numerous books, including The Mission of Motherhood, The Ministry of Motherhood and Seasons of a Mothers Heart. Sally’s husband, Clay, authors Educating the Whole Hearted Child, Our 24 Family Ways and Heartfelt Discipline. The Mission of Motherhood is in two Chinese languages, The Ministry of Motherhood and Educating the Whole Hearted Child is in Korean. Ministry is also in Dutch, French and two books are in Polish. Both Mission and Ministry have consecutively been recognized by the United States congressional women’s Bible study as the number one book on mothering. The Clarksons put on an annual conference for moms in Colorado, Texas and California. The Speakers this year in Colorado were Sally Clarkson, Misty Krawsawski, Debi Chapman, Sarah Mae, and Sarah Clarkson. I came away feeling inspired and replenished. The following are some points that stuck with me.

25 Points I took away from the Mom Heart Conference: 

Sarah Mae

1.            Resolve to be in God’s presence. We cannot reflect God’s light to our children if we’re not in it.

2.            Resolve to be different than the world.


3.            If we don’t step up as parents, culture will step in.


4.            Prepare for the world by equipping with the Word.

5.            Don’t give one another permission to compromise.


6.            Know your calling. If you are a mother, your first calling is to motherhood.

7.            Reduce or eliminate technology. Technology creates a mental state of constant activity.

8.            Look at the sin issue of your child and then speak the opposite over them.

Sarah Mae is Co­author with Sally Clarkson of the book, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breath.

Sarah Clarkson


9.      Children need quiet in order to hear God.

10.        Shape their perspective with stories. Stories shape a child’s point of view, cultivates imagination, provides a courageous character for your child to identify with, shows how choices are lived out (faithfulness), and gives a vision of happy endings.

Sarah Clarkson is currently writing The Storyformed Life and I highly recommend watching for that one!

Sally Clarkson

11.        Love is your aim. Only love can reach and transform hearts.

12.        Be a reflection of Christ to your children. Love and humbly serve like Christ.

13.        Walk with those who are wise. Put yourself in a place where people will draw you to a higher Spiritual place and thinking.

14.        Build on the foundation of God’s Word and truth. Love God and love others.


15.         It’s all held together by the Holy Spirit.

16.        We must be connected to the vine. Remain in him.

17.        If you’re not partnering with God, don’t expect supernatural results.


18.         God makes what we do enough.


19.         Don’t name your child something you do not want them to live into.

20.        Don’t keep disciplining a difficult child. Fill her heart. A child cannot learn until she feels her cup is full.

21.        Your message will come out of the life you live.


22.         The Kingdom is living in the freedom of who God created you to be.


23.         You are not defined by your mistakes (nor are your children.)


24.         Be who you are. Don’t compare.


25.         If you are justifying your life, you are probably compromising God’s call on your life.

There was so much great insight. I wish you all could have been there! However, a great place to start in gaining perspective as a mother is with Sally’s books. I highly recommend The Mission of Motherhood, if you’re not sure which to pick up first. Read and be inspired!

Sally, Me and Misty Krasawski

The crew from Sheridan

Mom Heart Panel

- Theresa Miller, MOPS Mom

Theresa is a wife and mother of four children (3, 5, 7, and 9), who are embarking on their first year of homeschooling. Theresa has been involved in Sheridan MOPS for the last 9 ½ years, serving in multiple leadership positions, including Day MOPS Coordinator in 2007-2008. She took one year off, then started the Sheridan Evening MOPS group in September 2009. Theresa has published an article with MOPS International MOMSnext Ezine, in addition to other on-line publications. You can find Theresa encouraging mothers on her blog, Heavenly Glimpses.

Mom, You Make a Difference

Moms Who Change the World, Part Four

originally posted at mops.org 1/23/14

by Stephanie Gates

reality

JANUARY 23, 2014

 

When Carrie Burnett was a little girl, she wanted to change the world.

And she is. But not in the way she once imagined.

“It’s hard for me to feel like the ordinary things are important,” Carriesays.  “I’ve always wanted to do big things, but recently I’ve been learning that my family is the most important thing.”

As a young adult, Carrie envisioned her life. She finished college with a degree in intercultural studies, and spent her first year of marriage to Jeff in Rio de Janero, Brazil. Their first year in Brazil was deeply meaningful, but terribly isolating. She experienced firsthand the value of community, and the personal toll of living outside of one. When a series of logistical decisions led the couple back to her hometown in Alabama, she was at peace with the turn of events.  

But Carrie and Jeff remained passionate about serving others, and living out their faith within a community. Before long, Carrie became pregnant.

That’s when Carrie’s chance to change the world expanded.

Nine years later, Carrie and Jeff have three little girls, ages 8, 6, and 2. Carrie has joined small groups, led a MOPS group, and served her community in countless ways over the years. But her most important work sits around her table every night.

“I believe in doing everything with a purpose,” says Carrie.  “I try to help my girls see the larger purpose in what we do. I want them to be in love with God, and not just follow rules.” Carrie pours her heart into her children. Day after day she focuses on teaching good behavior, rewarding kindness and communication, and showing her children how to notice and serve others – no matter how young they are.  

She also works hard to stay present with her family. “Even hard moments are easier if we can just stay in them,” she says. “I try not to let my kids be a means to my end.” As much as possible, she builds fun into their daily interactions. “I want them to like us, and each other, too! We have fun together as much as we can.”

 

Carrie wanted to change the world. Through intentional, thoughtful, loving parenting – she is.

So are you.

As the mother of small children, it is easy to lose sight of a higher purpose. But every juice cup poured, every diaper changed, every book read is an act of love. Day by day, you are building a worldview for your children, a launching pad for the rest of their lives. You are shaping the way they see the world, how they will approach others, how they will relate to God. And as intimidating as that sounds, it happens naturally, simply by loving your little ones.

The patience you show with your children now will one day be the patience they share with others. The kindness you plant in their tiny lives will grow into self-respect and respect for others. The love you naturally share with them will, in turn, be the love they have to give in the future.

In a thousand small ways, every single day, you are changing the world.

---

I am Stephanie - mom to four beautifully rambunctious little kids and wife to a guy who still makes me smile.  If you have ever abandoned religion in search of faith, ever had to leave your hometown to find your home, or ever climbed to the very tip-top of a jungle gym to rescue an overzealous toddler, you may enjoy reading more at A Wide Mercy.  You can also follow along on Facebook.