It's a place he enters into that is another source of stress, he tells me as we're washing up
getting ready for bed. The place that is supposed to be restful and peaceful at the end of a day
and it's eyeopening, this reality that makes me gulp in hearing. But I have to hear it to
understand why. Why of all places is our home a source of stress to him?
I had never asked. And he has always appreciated everything I juggle. And he's not complaining. It was just a topic that had come up in our couples study earlier, which we were now discussing and he's sharing honestly, and I didn't realize.
I didn't realize he experienced peace differently than how I viewed it: by how messy or clean the house was, how loud or quiet the children were, how much arguing or correcting was occurring and I thought we were doing pretty good under the circumstances.
But it's the little things, he tells me. It's the tasks left undone for days or weeks. It's having a space that is his, that is always touched by little hands or with my piles, and it's not just me. It's the neverending household projects he has yet to cross off of his list.
The water trickles as he brushes his teeth and I stand stunned as I think about how I am failing because what good is all of my efforts in creating a peaceful and orderly home if he doesn't feel it?
And I know that I should consider him first. I know that if I uphold him and he upholds me, together we uphold our family and there is cohesiveness. And I know that it is all too easy to fall into the trap of expending all of my energy on the children.
Yet, if I am expending all of my energy with my priorities out of order, how much of my energy am I expending in vain?
I had never asked. And he has always appreciated everything I juggle. And he's not complaining. It was just a topic that had come up in our couples study earlier, which we were now discussing and he's sharing honestly, and I didn't realize.
I didn't realize he experienced peace differently than how I viewed it: by how messy or clean the house was, how loud or quiet the children were, how much arguing or correcting was occurring and I thought we were doing pretty good under the circumstances.
But it's the little things, he tells me. It's the tasks left undone for days or weeks. It's having a space that is his, that is always touched by little hands or with my piles, and it's not just me. It's the neverending household projects he has yet to cross off of his list.
The water trickles as he brushes his teeth and I stand stunned as I think about how I am failing because what good is all of my efforts in creating a peaceful and orderly home if he doesn't feel it?
And I know that I should consider him first. I know that if I uphold him and he upholds me, together we uphold our family and there is cohesiveness. And I know that it is all too easy to fall into the trap of expending all of my energy on the children.
Yet, if I am expending all of my energy with my priorities out of order, how much of my energy am I expending in vain?
- Theresa Miller, MOPS Mom
Theresa is a wife and mother of four children (3, 5, 7, and 9), who are embarking on their first year of homeschooling. Theresa has been involved in Sheridan MOPS for the last 9 ½ years, serving in multiple leadership positions, including Day MOPS Coordinator in 2007-2008. She took one year off, then started the Sheridan Evening MOPS group in September 2009. Theresa has published an article with MOPS International MOMSnext Ezine, in addition to other on-line publications. You can find Theresa encouraging mothers on her blog, Heavenly Glimpses.
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