Thursday Thoughts with Theresa: "When We Step Out of the Box with God"

I laid there with my face squished into my pillow sobbing that one turbulent day, three weeks into our homeschool journey, "Why, God? If this was your idea for us, then why are you letting this happen? Why is today so hard?" I knew without a doubt that this was what we were supposed to be doing. Although we enjoyed our children's previous school and teachers, the vision for homeschool was greater. So all I could do was wrestle with God over it. Then go back to my four children only to return and wrestle some more.

I was like a Jacob, who needed to be broken before I could be sent forth with a blessing and a new name.

There have been messy days in my life as a mother, but that day was the epitome of messy, wrapped and sealed by guilt. I had been brought to an all-time low and I just couldn't understand why God was allowing that.

And then, shortly after, I stumbled upon this passage on a friend’s blog:

"When we let God out of the box, he doesn't step out with a harness on and offer us the reigns. He bursts out like a lion and dares us to grab a hold of his mane and ride."

That was the answer to my, "Why, God?"

Because I realized that I had been searching for the reigns that day. I wanted a better handle on the direction and predictability of our homeschool.

Here we had stepped out of the box in faith, yet still I wanted everything to look tidy and clean in the process and he was letting me know clearly that there was no tidy little corner reserved for my control.

When we step out of the box with God we step out in pure faith, pure trust.

And it gets messy. And it's hard. But it's supposed to be that way because sometimes he has to break us in order for us to ride that wild lion on, what could be, the greatest adventure of our lives.

The very next day, I woke up to the "Hallelujah" chorus, I am sure. Because it was a new day and it was glorious, refreshing and filled with joy. I ached still a little from the injury to my pride, but I knew this journey had taken a new turn. We'd have our ups. We'd have our downs. But we were all in for where God was taking us.

When we step out of the box and say, "Yes," to what God asks of us, it may get messy. But that does not always indicate that our choice was wrong. God works in and through the messes of our lives to mold us and bring us to the places he has prepared.

I am so glad he has dared me to grab on and trust him for this adventure.

In what areas is he daring you to step out of the box and grab on?

-Theresa Miller, MOPS mom

Theresa is a wife and mother of four children (3, 5, 7, and 9), who are embarking on their first year of homeschooling. Theresa has been involved in Sheridan MOPS for the last 9 ½ years, serving in multiple leadership positions, including Day MOPS Coordinator in 2007-2008. She took one year off, then started the Sheridan Evening MOPS group in September 2009. Theresa has published an article with MOPS International MOMSnext Ezine, in addition to other on-line publications. You can find Theresa encouraging mothers on her blog, Heavenly Glimpses.